"A good cigar is as great a comfort to a man as a good cry is to a woman."
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"What a strange thing man is; and what a stranger thing woman."
"Whatever evil a man may think of women, there is no woman but thinks more."
"I don't know why women want any of the things men have when one the things that women have is men."
"In the sex war, thoughtlessness is the weapon of the male, vindictiveness of the female."
"Mediocrity is self-inflicted and genius is self-bestowed."
"The boy gathers materials for a temple, and then when he is thirty, concludes to build a woodshed."
"The best pedigree in the world won't sell a lame race horse."
"Not doing more than the average is what keeps the average down."
"The affairs of the world will go on forever. Do not delay the practice of meditation."
"In deep meditation the flow of concentration is continuous like the flow of oil."
"Meetings are indispensable when you don't want to do anything."
"No grand idea was ever born in a conference, but a lot of foolish ideas have died there."
"Melancholy, indeed, should be diverted by every means but drinking."
"Sweet bird, that shun the noise of folly, most musical, most melancholy!"
"Memory is the mother of all wisdom."
"Memory is the scribe of the soul."
"Memory is the greatest of artists, and effaces from your mind what is unnecessary."
"People tend to remember my performances, not me."
"Never forget what you need to remember."
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