"The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity."
Submitted by Quonation
"As a general thing, when the woman wears the pants in the family, she has a good right to them."
"When you get married you forget about kissing other women."
"Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash."
"Marriage, it seems, confines every man to his proper rank."
"I hate work. That's why I got married."
"One was never married, and that's his hell; another is, and that's his plague."
"I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children they just about throw up."
"Though women are angels, yet wedlock's the devil."
"All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage."
"The deep, deep peace of the double-bed after the hurly-burly of the chaise-lounge."
"If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam."
"There is a time for all things -- except marriage my dear."
"Marriage is an adventure, like going to war."
"There's nothing like a Catholic wedding to make you wish life had a fast forward button."
"Before marriage a man yearns for a woman. Afterward the y is silent."
"The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman."
"Grief walks upon the heels of pleasure; married in haste, we repent at leisure."
"The dread of loneliness is greater than the fear of bondage, so we get married."
"Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest."
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