"If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam."
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"There is a time for all things -- except marriage my dear."
"Marriage is an adventure, like going to war."
"There's nothing like a Catholic wedding to make you wish life had a fast forward button."
"Before marriage a man yearns for a woman. Afterward the y is silent."
"The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman."
"Grief walks upon the heels of pleasure; married in haste, we repent at leisure."
"The dread of loneliness is greater than the fear of bondage, so we get married."
"Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest."
"That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle the Vatican has overlooked."
"I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again."
"My wife and I were happy for twenty. Then we met!"
"Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age -- as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight."
"It destroys one's nerve to be amiable every day to the same human being."
"I'm certain that most couples expect to find intimacy in marriage, but it somehow eludes them."
"Men marry to make an end; women to make a beginning."
"Marriage is socialism among two people."
"Marriage must be a relation either of sympathy or of conquest."
"I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married."
"When the blind lead the blind, no wonder they both fall into -- matrimony."
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