"Bigamy is having one husband too many. Monogamy is the same."
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"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married and by then it was too late."
"Love is moral even without legal marriage, but marriage is immoral without love."
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
"Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose."
"Matrimony is the union of meanness and martyrdom."
"Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl."
"Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip."
"There is, hidden or flaunted, a sword between the sexes till an entire marriage reconciles them."
"Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory."
"Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave."
"Marriages are made in heaven and consummated on Earth."
"One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife."
"Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe."
"A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day."
"A marriage without conflicts is almost as inconceivable as a nation without crises."
"A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short."
"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."
"I've been married three times -- and each time I married the right person."
"If I ever marry it will be on a sudden impulse, as a man shoots himself."
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