"To catch a husband is an art; to hold him is a job."
Submitted by Quonation
"You -- poor and obscure, and small and plain as you are -- I entreat to accept me as a husband."
"Husbands are awkward things to deal with; even keeping them in hot water will not make them tender."
"I've never yet met a man who could look after me. I don't need a husband. What I need is a wife."
"A good husband makes a good wife."
"Husbands are like fires. They go out when unattended."
"I think every woman's entitled to a middle husband she can forget."
"The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it."
"An early-rising man... a good spouse but a bad husband."
"When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason."
"Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient."
"The calmest husbands make the stormiest wives."
"A good husband is healthy and absent."
"A husband is what's left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted."
"When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living."
"A little in drink, but at all times your faithful husband."
"In marriage, a man becomes slack and selfish, and undergoes a fatty degeneration of his moral being."
"They are horribly tedious when they are good husbands, and abominably conceited when they are not."
"The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes."
"Hygiene is two thirds of health."
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