"Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room."
Submitted by Quonation
"The comic is the perception of the opposite; humor is the feeling of it."
"A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections."
"A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling."
"If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide."
"Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him."
"A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it."
"A jest often decides matters of importance more effectual and happily than seriousness."
"Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it."
"I am a great friend to public amusements, for they keep the people from vice."
"There is always some frivolity in excellent minds; they have wings to rise, but also stray."
"WARNING: Humor may be hazardous to your illness."
"The hall-mark of American humor is its pose of illiteracy."
"The happiness or unhappiness of men depends as much on their humors as on fortune."
"Fortune and humor govern the world."
"If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee."
"A person who knows how to laugh at himself will never ceased to be amused."
"Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is."
"Comedy may be big business but it isn't pretty."
"It is well known that Beauty does not look with a good grace on the timid advances of Humor."
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