"A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk."
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"Even though a number of people have tried, no one has ever found a way to drink for a living."
"Drink! for you know not whence you came nor why: drink! for you know not why you go, nor where."
"There is a devil in every berry of the grape."
"I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it."
"I always wake up at the crack of ice."
"I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin."
"A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on."
"I drink to forget I drink."
"I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise."
"It pays to get drunk with the best people."
"If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt."
"Prohibition may be a disputed theory, but none can say that it doesn't hold water."
"A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn't care to drink with, even if he drank."
"Candy, is dandy, but Liquor, is quicker."
"I only drink to make other people seem more interesting."
"Where does one not find that bland degeneration which beer produces in the spirit!"
"A torchlight procession marching down your throat."
"This is the great fault of wine; it first trips up the feet: it is a cunning wrestler."
"What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for."
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