"The best audience is one that is intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk."
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"One drink is too many for me and a thousand not enough."
"Wine is a mocker, and strong drink is raging; and who is deceived by it is not wise."
"The whole world is about three drinks behind."
"Never accept a drink from a Urologist."
"Wine is a treacherous friend who you must always be on guard for."
"The decline of the aperitif may well be one of the most depressing phenomena of our time."
"When I played drunks I had to remain sober because I didn't know how to play them when I was drunk."
"Let us have wine and women, mirth and laughter. Sermons and soda water the day after."
"Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication."
"I have been brought up and trained to have the utmost contempt for people who get drunk."
"I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me."
"Some men are like musical glasses; to produce their finest tones you must keep them wet."
"Bring in the bottled lightning, a clean tumbler, and a corkscrew."
"He is a drunkard who takes more than three glasses though he be not drunk."
"I have fed purely upon ale; I have eat my ale, drank my ale, and I always sleep upon ale."
"Wine is a turncoat; first a friend and then an enemy."
"I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming."
"I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes."
"He who obtains has little. He who scatters has much."
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