"He who excuses himself, accuses himself."
Submitted by Quonation
"No doubt Jack the Ripper excused himself on the grounds that it was human nature."
"An excuse is worse than a lie, for an excuse is a lie, guarded."
"The girl who can't dance says the band can't play."
"If you don't want to do something, one excuse is as good as another."
"And oftentimes excusing of a fault doth make the fault the worse by the excuse."
"Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse."
"Don't make excuses, make good."
"An executive is a man who can make quick decisions and is sometimes right."
"An executive is a man who decides; sometimes he decides right, but always he decides."
"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."
"I can feel the wind go by when I run. It feels good. It feels fast."
"The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again."
"Use it or lose it."
"I get my exercise acting as a pallbearer to my friends who exercise."
"Exercise is the yuppie version of bulimia."
"Intellectual tasting of life will not supersede muscular activity."
"Exercise is bunk. If you are healthy you don't need it. If you are sick you shouldn't take it."
"Whenever I feel like exercise I lie down until the feeling passes."
"Walking is the best possible exercise. Habituate yourself to walk very fast."
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