"You know, one of the signs that the second coming, is that the stars will fall out of the sky and land on Earth. To even write that means you don’t know what those things are. You have no concept of what the actual universe is. So everybody who tried to make proclamations about the physical universe based on Bible passages got the wrong answer."
"Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like 'struggle'. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now - and to go on caring even through times that may bring us pain."
"If you love a flower, don’t pick it up. Because if you pick it up, it dies and it ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation."
"Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no tomorrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace."
"Last night, I was talkin to this other comic and he was telling me how he likes the pope. 'Ya know, I like the pope. I like this guy. He says he's cool with atheists, they don't mind if gay people get married, and blah blah blah.' That's because they're hemorrhaging cash in the fuckin west in the northern hemisphere. It's a business. They're only adding people down in South America, but as far as up here they're fucked. They're losing people day by day, so they have to adjust their message."
"This notion of eternity, this notion of nothing matters here but matters over the long haul, in the afterlife, because the bulk of our experience is after we die; this religious idea actually robs life of its meaning. It doesn't bring meaning to life. It renders meaningless all of the precious moments we have while alive. This is the only life we are certain of, and it is continually ending. It not only ends in death but it ends in each moment and things change. And that makes each moment precious."
"‘Unless experience lasts forever, there is no point. It means nothing.’ Just try to map this onto your life: every good meal you' had, every pleasant experience as opposed to an unpleasant one, every relationship, none of it means anything, because it ends. A good movie is meaningless — it’s no better than a bad movie — because it ends. This is a strange idea, that unless we disappear into infinity with our experience, there is no difference between the most sublime happiness and the most abject suffering. I think when you actually try to connect with that intuition, it’s strange and really insupportable in our moment-to-moment experience. We care very deeply about the character of our experience. In fact, it is the only thing we can care about."
"In the whole world there's only two kinds of jobs. There's a job you take a shower before you go to work in the morning, and there's a job where you take a shower when you come home from work at night. And the world needs both of us."
"When you make something, when you go through the process, all the steps, and at the end you have a finished product that you made with your own hands out of your own mind that is your own design, it's a reflection of your soul."