"Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun."
Submitted by Quonation
"Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty."
"The two most important things in life are good friends and a strong bullpen."
"You know they're not going to lose 162 consecutive games."
"I'm not buddy-buddy with the players. If they need a buddy, let them buy a dog."
"Tennis is a perfect combination of violent action taking place in an atmosphere of total tranquillity."
"You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work."
"Sometimes in football you have to score goals."
"Most ball games are lost, not won."
"Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five."
"Gray skies are just clouds passing over."
"If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing you grandmother with her teeth out."
"Nobody's a natural. You work hard to get good and then work to get better. It's hard to stay on top."
"Bulls do not win bull fights. People do."
"If I weren't earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming."
"Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness."
"My family knew, but most of the sporting world did not realize that my right hand been some 75% paralyzed."
"What other people may find in poetry or art museums, I find in the flight of a good drive."
"The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight."
"The only way to prove that you're a good sport is to lose."
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