"We are ashamed to seem evasive in the presence of a straightforward man, cowardly in the presence of a brave one, gross in the eyes of a refined one, and so on. We always imagine, and in imagining share, the judgments of the other mind."
"Shame is closely related to guilt, but there is a key qualitative difference. No audience is needed for feelings of guilt, no one else need know, for the guilty person is his own judge. Not so for shame. The humiliation of shame requires disapproval or ridicule by others. If no one ever learns of a misdeed there will be no shame, but there still might be guilt. Of course, there may be both. The distinction between shame and guilt is very important, since these two emotions may tear a person in opposite directions. The wish to relieve guilt may motivate a confession, but the wish to avoid the humiliation of shame may prevent it."
"Some fluctuating notions concerning repentance, virtue, honor, morality ... hovered around Lady Dellwyn's thoughts but were too wavering to bring her to any fixed determination. She became a constant attendant from one public place to another, where she met with many mortifications. But yet even these were not quite so dreadful to her as to retire and be subjected to her own company alone."
"See! those fiendish lineaments graven on the darkness, the writhed lip of scorn, the mockery of that living eye, the pointed finger, touching the sore place in your heart! Do you remember any act of enormous folly, at which you would blush, even in the remotest cavern of the earth? Then recognize your Shame."
"... that's what living happens to be ... the physiological denial of reverence and good manners and Christianity.... At your age one's quite old enough to know what the essence of life really is. Shamelessness, that's all; pure shamelessness."
"The basis of shame is not some personal mistake of ours, but the ignominy, the humiliation we feel that we must be what we are without any choice in the matter, and that this humiliation is seen by everyone."
"Ashamed of the many frailties they feel within, all men endeavour to hide themselves, their ugly nakedness, from each other, and wrapping up the true motives of their hearts in the specious cloak of sociableness, and their concern for the public good, they are in hopes of concealing their filthy appetites and the deformity of their desires."
"Shame can make you so angry you can barely function. It is the rage you feel when someone slights you because of the color of your skin, your accent or the clothes you wear. The ultimate in shame, however, is the humiliation, self-blame you feel when someone has raped or abused you. In that instance, you turn your shame or rage on yourself, asking "What have I done wrong to be so abused?" With guilt we know what the wrong is, the car was stolen, the curfew was broken, the contract was bogus. Usually guilt is less intense and destructive an emotion than shame because it is less involved with the perception and evaluation of the whole self. With guilt there is a motivation to change, to make amends, and pay the dues."
"Almighty Father, forgive me for saying the words I did in anger, shaming him for his poverty and blaming him for mine. And for putting the idea in his head. Forgive him. Forgive him. He didn't know what he was doing."