"A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success."
Submitted by Quonation
"Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting."
"Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name."
"Patience. A minor form of despair disguised as a virtue."
"Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly."
"An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white."
"A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills."
"Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness."
"An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws."
"Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live."
"Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination."
"The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity."
"A man is known by the company he organizes."
"A temporary insanity curable by marriage."
"Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking."
"Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money."
"Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to."
"An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to."
"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret."
"Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay."
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