"Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious."
Submitted by Quonation
"Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones."
"Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree."
"Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify."
"Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity."
"Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state."
"Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip."
"Habit is a shackle for the free."
"Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others."
"Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C."
"The gambling known as business looks with severe disfavor on the business known as gambling."
"A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker."
"To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense."
"Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed."
"Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age."
"Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me."
"An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me!"
"Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard."
"Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire."
"Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries."
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