"If we raise the minimum wage and forced McDonalds and Walmart to pay their employees enough to eat, we the tax-payers wouldn't have to pick up the slack. This is the question the Right has to answer: Do you want smaller government with less handouts or do you want a low minimum wage? Because you cannot have both. If Colonel Sanders isn't going to pay the lady behind the counter enough to live on, then Uncle Sam has to. And I for one am getting a little tired of helping highly profitable companies pay their workers."
"This is such bullshit. Do they have a whole farm system? Do they have websites? Show me the country that has the Christian fundamentalist training camp where they're on the monkey bars. This is just not the same. Look, I'm no fuckin Catholic or Christian, but one is herpes and one is cancer."
"I do think all politics is tribal. And just as some people are dog people and others are cat people, some have a chip in their brain to be Democrats and others to be Republicans. We have Kennedy; you have Reagan. We have marijuana; you have Metamucil. We want gays in the military; you want them in the airport restroom."
"The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'"