"A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?"
Submitted by Quonation
"People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy."
"Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued."
"If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble."
"I do benefits for all religions -- I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality."
"A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove you don't need it."
"The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup."
"The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast. [About Russia]"
"If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf."
"You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle."
"I don't generally feel anything until noon, then it's time for my nap."
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