"A conservative is a fellow who thinks a rich man should have a square deal."
Submitted by Quonation
"Where the criminals cover their crimes by making them legal. [On Washington D. C.]"
"Life is strange. Every so often a good man wins."
"Time is money, especially when you are talking to a lawyer or buying a commercial."
"Blessed is he who talks in circles, for he shall become a big wheel."
"The great American novel has not only already been written, it has already been rejected."
"Preachers denounce sin as if it was available to everyone."
"Rome had Senators too, and that is why it declined."
"The news of any politician's death should be listed under Public Improvements."
"A man who calls bullshit fertilizer."
"The way to a woman's heart is through your wallet."
"A liberal is man who will give away everything he doesn't own."
"In polite society one laughs at all the jokes, including the ones one has heard before."
"Remember when $25, 000 was a success? Now it is a garbage collector."
"Some have greatness thrust upon them, but not lately."
"It is not necessary to have enemies if you go out of your way to make friends hate you."
"Get the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything."
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