"If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again."
Submitted by Quonation
"There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked."
"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception."
"There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man."
"Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough."
"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."
"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."
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