"Classic music is th' kind that we keep thinkin'll turn into a tune."
Submitted by Quonation
Category: Music
"My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who has lost three husbands."
Category: Death
"Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid."
Category: General
"The world gels better every day -- then worse again in the evening."
Category: World
"One of the commonest mistakes is thinking your worries are over when your children get married."
Category: Worry
"We'd all like to vote for the best man, but he's never a candidate."
Category: Voting
"If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on a vacation."
"Nobody ever grew despondent looking for trouble."
Category: Trials
"Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable."
"A bee is never as busy as it seems; it's just that it can't buzz any slower."
"Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt."
Category: Behavior
"Beauty is only skin deep, but it's a valuable asset if you're poor or haven't any sense."
Category: Beauty
"It's pretty hard to be efficient without being obnoxious."
Category: Inspirational
"There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?"
Category: Success
"If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest."
"Men are not punished for their for sins, but by them."
Category: Sin
"It ain't a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you're talking about."
Category: Silence
"When some fellers decide to retire nobody knows the difference."
Category: Retirement
"It is no disgrace to be poor, but it might as well be."
Category: Poverty
"Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature."
Category: Political
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