"Classic music is th' kind that we keep thinkin'll turn into a tune."
Submitted by Quonation
"My idea of walking into the jaws of death is marrying some woman who has lost three husbands."
"Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid."
"The world gels better every day -- then worse again in the evening."
"One of the commonest mistakes is thinking your worries are over when your children get married."
"We'd all like to vote for the best man, but he's never a candidate."
"If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on a vacation."
"Nobody ever grew despondent looking for trouble."
"Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable."
"A bee is never as busy as it seems; it's just that it can't buzz any slower."
"Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt."
"Beauty is only skin deep, but it's a valuable asset if you're poor or haven't any sense."
"It's pretty hard to be efficient without being obnoxious."
"There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?"
"If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest."
"Men are not punished for their for sins, but by them."
"It ain't a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you're talking about."
"When some fellers decide to retire nobody knows the difference."
"It is no disgrace to be poor, but it might as well be."
"Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature."
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