"Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins."
Submitted by Quonation
"Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform."
"Be good and you will be lonely."
"It is nobler to be good, and it is nobler to teach others to be good -- and less trouble!"
"Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough."
"When angry, count four; when very angry, swear."
"Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry."
"A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught."
"A lie can run around the world six times while the truth is still trying to put on its pants."
"One of the striking differences between a cat and a lie is that the cat has only nine lives."
"Never let formal education get in the way of your learning."
"Never learn to do anything. If you don't learn, you will always find someone else to do it for you."
"To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do."
"The human race has but one really affective weapon, and that is laughter."
"Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least."
"Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand."
"Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known and I know the rest."
"A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way."
"You can't depend on your judgment when your imagination is out of focus."
"True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god."
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