"Damn the subjunctive. It brings all our writers to shame."
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"We have the best government that money can buy."
"Golf is a good walk spoiled."
"It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it."
"There isn't a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American."
"Sometimes too much drink is barely enough."
"Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody."
"A man cannot be made comfortable without his own approval."
"Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all."
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old."
"Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered -- either by themselves or by others."
"He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages."
"Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."
"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it"
"When one has tasted it [Watermelon] he knows what the angels eat."
"I was young and foolish then; now I am old and foolisher."
"Adam was the luckiest man; he had no mother-in-law."
"Familiarity breeds contempt; and children."
"Faith is believing what you know ain't so."
"It was the schoolboy who said, Faith is believing what you know ain't so."
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