"I can't tell you what hotel I'm stayin' in, but there are two trees involved. They said, "Let's call this hotel something Tree". So they had a meeting; it was...it was quite short. "How 'bout Tree?" "No." "Double Tree?" "Hell yeah! Meeting adjourned!" Well, I had my heart set on Quadruple Tree...and we were almost there!"
"On a stop light green means go, red means stop and yellow means slow down, but on a banana it's just the opposite. Green means 'hold on', yellow means 'go ahead', and red means 'where the fuck did you get that banana at?'"
"You know when it comes to racism, people say, "I don't care if they're black, white, purple or green." Woah, hold on now! Purple or green? You gotta draw the line somewhere! To hell with purple people! Unless they're suffocating...then help'em."