"Women would rather be right than reasonable."
Submitted by Quonation
"But that wasn't fancy enough for Lord Byron, oh dear me no, he had to invent a lot of figures of speech and then interpolate them,"
"A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold."
"I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it."
"Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for."
"If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work."
"People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up."
"The further through life I drift the more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift."
"The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin."
"One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence."
"Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind."
"Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long."
"Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs."
"Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore."
"How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!"
"Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?"
"The cow is of the bovine ilk: One end is moo, the other, milk."
"Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor."
"Man is a victim of dope in the incurable form of hope."
"The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control."
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