"I once said cynically of a politician, Hell double-cross that bridge when he comes to it."
Submitted by Quonation
"Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character."
"I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself."
"It's not what your are, it's what you don't become that hurts."
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I."
"There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side."
"Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome."
"An epigram is only a wisecrack that's played at Carnegie Hall."
"There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line."
"Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision."
"Once he makes up his mind, he's full of indecision. [On Dwight D. Eisenhower]"
"Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you will find the real tinsel underneath."
"Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember."
"What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left."
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