"In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh."
Submitted by Quonation
"A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success."
"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."
"Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator."
"Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings."
"Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away."
"Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get."
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