"'Shower the people you love with love' has gotta be the dirtiest of the James Taylor lyrics."
Submitted by Quonation
"Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start The Fire" is the best song ever written about lack of accountability."
"No common phrase makes me as uncomfortable as “chink in the armor”."
"14% of all van passengers are there involuntarily."
"Holy shit, you mean that abandoned furniture on that curb in that college town is just, like, free to take?!"
"Attention Obama & Romney: I will vote for whichever one of you does the first televised debate wearing a fish tie."
Category: Election 2012
"'Boy Scouts Uphold No Gays Allowed Policy'...says the organization that decorates their shirts with stitched-on pictures of animal faces."
"McDonald’s is on Yelp, in case you need help deciding whether or not to go sit in someone’s diarrhea."
"Share the road with cyclists, unless you’re in a hurry and they’re going super-slow."
"If you want to put a swift end to a boring first date, just say to the woman, 'I predict you will bear me many fine sons.'"
"Man, I guess Chick-fil-A really fucked equality in the ass, huh?"
"The fact that Dorothy had a feverish, confusing dream about her uncles is a sign that something else was going on."
"'Easy Lover' is basically just Phil Collins calling someone a slut for 4 minutes."
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