"I pass judgements like I pass kidney stones: it's gonna hurt like hell, and you'll be walking funny."
Submitted by DavidMcL
"Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day."
Submitted by Dimeirex
"I think being funny is not anyone's first choice."
Submitted by Quonation
"Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide."
"Comedy is tragedy that happens to other people."
"All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl."
"Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot."
"Charlie Chaplin's genius was in comedy. He has no sense of humor, particularly about himself."
"Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act."
"Comedy is an escape, not from truth but from despair; a narrow escape into faith."
"A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book."
"Comedy comes from conflict, from hatred."
"The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth."
"My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy."
"There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl."
"Though it make the unskillful laugh, cannot but make the judicious grieve."
"The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel."
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