"I'd like to do some observational humor for ya now. I hope you can identify with it...Hey! Don't ya hate when you're in bed with three women, and the least attractive one whispers, 'Save it for me.' Man that's a drag!"
"So congratulations, North Carolina. Last night, you struck a decisive blow for loneliness. And tonight, as you go to sleep beside your heterosexual life mate, you an rest assured that all across your great state, a gay man or lesbian woman is crying themselves to sleep in solitude and making your relationship stronger with each tear."