"My constituency is the desperate, the damned, the disinherited, the disrespected and the despised."
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"When a man assumes a public trust he should consider himself a public property."
"Politics are such a torment that I would advise every one I love not to mix with them."
"Son, in politics you've got to learn that overnight chicken shit can turn to chicken salad."
"Don't buy a single vote more than necessary. I'll be damned if I'm going to pay for a landslide."
"The cross of the Legion of Honor has been conferred on me. However, few escape that distinction."
"To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal."
"To be happy is to be able to become aware of oneself without fright."
"A baby is born with a need to be loved and never outgrows it."
"A loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other."
"Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it."
"The tiny madman in his padded cell."
"A baby is God's opinion that life should go on."
"A soiled baby, with a neglected nose, cannot be conscientiously regarded as a thing of beauty."
"I don't dislike babies, though I think very young ones rather disgusting."
"A baby sitter is someone who watches your TV set While your kids cry themselves to sleep."
"A bachelor's life is a fine breakfast, a flat lunch, and a miserable dinner."
"I would be married, but I'd have no wife, I would be married to a single life."
"The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married."
"Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives."
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