"You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it."
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"It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it."
"The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart."
"Somebody left the cork out of my lunch."
"A drinker has a hole under his nose that all his money runs into."
"Wine hath drowned more men than the sea."
"Fill it up. I take as large draughts of liquor as I did of love. I hate a flincher in either."
"Drink not the third glass, which thou canst not tame, when once it is within thee."
"Ale, man, ale's the stuff to drink for fellows whom it hurts to think."
"Malt does more than Milton can to justify God's ways to man."
"They who drink beer will think beer."
"If merely feeling good could decide, drunkenness would be the supremely valid human experience."
"A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk."
"Even though a number of people have tried, no one has ever found a way to drink for a living."
"Drink! for you know not whence you came nor why: drink! for you know not why you go, nor where."
"There is a devil in every berry of the grape."
"I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it."
"I always wake up at the crack of ice."
"I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin."
"A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on."
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