“The world record for enjoying jazz is 48 seconds.”
Damien Fahey
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Funny
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“Every hurricane should be measured on a scale of 1 to ‘Celine Dion is Recording a Tribute Song As We Speak’.”
Damien Fahey
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Funny
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“I’d be more impressed with the Samsung Galaxy’s ability to instantly transfer a playlist if everyone else’s taste in music didn’t suck.”
Damien Fahey
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Funny
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“I get more excited seeing my luggage on a baggage carousel than I do seeing a person I know.”
Damien Fahey
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Funny
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“If we put aside our differences and work together, I truly believe we can come up with a few more alternate spellings of the name Britney.”
Damien Fahey
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Funny
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“Rappers shouldn’t have to file taxes because they itemize everything they own in songs.”
Damien Fahey
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Funny
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“I’ve spent over 10,000 hours reading Malcolm Gladwell books. Which means I’m an expert at being insufferable at parties.”
Damien Fahey
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Funny
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“I wonder if Obama will respond to Trump or if he’s the fucking president of the united states who shouldn’t have to deal with this shit.”
Damien Fahey
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Funny
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“I worry that guys who hold elevator doors open to finish conversations are going to be late for their Worse Than Hitler award ceremonies.”
Damien Fahey
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Funny
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“Making your Instagram private is like putting a Master Lock on a dumpster.”
Damien Fahey
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Funny
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“Mitt Romney’s campaign song should be the theme from Frasier.”
Damien Fahey
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Election 2012
