“Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.”
Groucho Marx
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Humor
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“Humor is reason gone mad.”
Groucho Marx
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Humor
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“Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.”
Groucho Marx
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Intelligence
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“She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.”
Groucho Marx
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Beauty
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“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.”
Groucho Marx
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Art
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“Well, Art is Art, isn’t it? Still, on the other hand, water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.”
Groucho Marx
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Art
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“Either he’s dead or my watch has stopped.”
Groucho Marx
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Death
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“My mother loved children — she would have given anything if I had been one.”
Groucho Marx
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Children
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“Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.”
Groucho Marx
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Writing
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“Wives are people who feel they don’t dance enough.”
Groucho Marx
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Family
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“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”
Groucho Marx
Submitted by Quonation |Category: General
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“No man goes before his time — unless the boss leaves early.”
Groucho Marx
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Time
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“Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.”
Groucho Marx
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Sex
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“I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.”
Groucho Marx
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Poverty
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“Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.”
Groucho Marx
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Poverty
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“Politics doesn’t make strange bedfellows, marriage does.”
Groucho Marx
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Political
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“I won’t belong to any organization that would have me as a member.”
Groucho Marx
Submitted by Quonation |Category: General
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“Please accept my resignation. I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.”
Groucho Marx
Submitted by Quonation |Category: People
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“One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.”
Groucho Marx
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Marriage
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“Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men — the other 999 follow women.”
Groucho Marx
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Leadership
