“Each party steals so many articles of faith from the other, and the candidates spend so much time making each other’s speeches, that by the time election day is past there is nothing much to do save turn the sitting rascals out and let a new gang in.”

H. L. Mencken
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Faith
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“There are men so philosophical that they can see humor in their own toothaches. But there has never lived a man so philosophical that he could see the toothache in his own humor.”

H. L. Mencken
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Humor
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“It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods.”

H. L. Mencken
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Imagination
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“No one in this world has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby.”

H. L. Mencken
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Intelligence
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“The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line.”

H. L. Mencken
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Life
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“Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.”

H. L. Mencken
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Love
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“Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.”

H. L. Mencken
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Love
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“Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.”

H. L. Mencken
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Wisdom
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“I hate all sports as rabidly as a person who likes sports hates common sense.”

H. L. Mencken
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Sports
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“Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.”

H. L. Mencken
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Art
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“A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.”

H. L. Mencken
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Cynicism
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“The cynics are right nine times out of ten.”

H. L. Mencken
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Cynicism
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“Criticism is prejudice made plausible.”

H. L. Mencken
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Criticism
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“The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.”

H. L. Mencken
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Crime
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“Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.”

H. L. Mencken
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Science
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“Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.”

H. L. Mencken
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Science
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“Let’s not burn the universities yet. After all, the damage they do might be worse.”

H. L. Mencken
Submitted by Quonation |Category: College
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“Archbishop — A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ.”

H. L. Mencken
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Religion
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“Life is a constant oscillation between the sharp horns of dilemmas.”

H. L. Mencken
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Choice
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“Adultery is the application of democracy to love.”

H. L. Mencken
Submitted by Quonation |Category: General