“If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.”

Mark Twain
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Political
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“Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.”

Mark Twain
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Truth
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“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”

Mark Twain
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Truth
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“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Mark Twain
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Inspirational
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“A person who won’t read has no advantage over one who can’t read.”

Mark Twain
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Intellectual
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“God created war so that Americans would learn geography.”

Mark Twain
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Political
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“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Mark Twain
Submitted by kschafer58 |Category: General
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“But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?”

Mark Twain
Submitted by kschafer58 |Category: General
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“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

Mark Twain
Submitted by kschafer58 |Category: General
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“Sometimes I lifted a chicken that warn’t roosting comfortable, and took him along. Pap always said, take a chicken when you get a chance, because if you don’t want him yourself you can easy find somebody that does, and a good deed ain’t ever forgot. I never see papa when he didn’t want the chicken himself, but that is what he used to say, anyway.”

Mark Twain
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Hypocrisy
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“No temperance society which is well officered and which has the real good of our fellow-men in view, will ever get drunk save in the seclusion of its temperance hall.”

Mark Twain
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Hypocrisy
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“Nothing incites to money-crimes like great poverty or great wealth.”

Mark Twain
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Wealth
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“There are many humorous things in the world; among them the white man’s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.”

Mark Twain
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Prejudice
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“Miss Watson she took me in the closet and prayed, but nothing come of it. She told me to pray every day, and whatever I asked for I would get it. But it warn’t so. I tried it. Once I got a fish-line, but no hooks. It warn’t any good to me without hooks.”

Mark Twain
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Religion
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“We all went to church, about three mile, everybody a-horseback. The men took their guns along, so did Buck, and kept them between their knees or stood them handy against the wall. The Shepherdson’s done the same. It was pretty ornery preaching–all about brotherly love, and such-like tiresomeness; but everybody said it was a good sermon, and they all talked it over going home, and had such a powerful lot to say about faith, and good works, and free grace, and preforeordestination, and I don’t know what all, that it did seem to me to be one of the roughest Sundays I had run across yet.”

Mark Twain
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Religion
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“There warn’t anybody at the church, except maybe a hog or two, for there warn’t any lock on the door, and hogs likes a puncheon floor in summertime because it’s cool. If you notice, most folks don’t go to church only when they’ve got to; but a hog is different.”

Mark Twain
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Religion
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“Man is the Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion–several of them.”

Mark Twain
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Religion
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“I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious–except he purposely shut the eyes of his mind and keep them shut by force.”

Mark Twain
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Religion
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“It is an art apart. Saint Francis of Assisi said–“All saints can do miracles, but few of them can keep hotel.”

Mark Twain
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Hospitality
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“We wish to learn all the curious, outlandish ways of all the different countries, so that we can “show off” and astonish people when we get home. We wish to excite the envy of our untraveled friends with our strange foreign fashions which we can’t shake off. All our passengers are paying strict attention to this thing, with the end in view which I have mentioned. The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become, until he goes abroad.”

Mark Twain
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Traveling