“It’s just a fucking june bug, calm down. Jesus Christ, what happens when something bigger than a testicle attacks you?”
@shitmydadsays
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Funny
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“Don’t touch the bacon, it’s not done yet. You let me handle the bacon, and i’ll let you handle..what ever it is you do. I guess nothing.”
@shitmydadsays
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Funny
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“The dog is not bored, it’s a fucking dog. It’s not like he’s waiting for me to give him a fucking rubix cube. He’s a god damned dog.”
@shitmydadsays
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Funny
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“Jesus it’s hot in here? Right? No? It’s fucking hot, you people looking at me like i’m crazy. You’re crazy.”
@shitmydadsays
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Funny
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“I didn’t live to be 73 years old so I could eat kale. Don’t fix me your breakfast and pretend you’re fixing mine.”
@shitmydadsays
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Funny
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“Don’t ever say stuff just because you think you should. That’s the definition of an asshole.”
@shitmydadsays
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Funny
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“Sometimes life leaves a hundred dollar bill on your dresser, and you don’t realize until later that it’s because it fucked you.”
@shitmydadsays
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Funny
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“I like the dog. If he can’t eat it, or fuck it, he pisses on it. I can get behind that.”
@shitmydadsays
Submitted by Quonation |Category: Funny
